So.. this illness punched our family in the gut once again in mid September. The victim this time was my beautiful 21 year old son. Tall, smart, funny, athletic, senior student at prestigious business school at a Big Ten University.
I was sure my children would escape this inheritable disorder that runs in my husbands family.. The possibility that any of my precious children would have this gene was unthinkable to me. But here it is.
The big Manic Drama event happened in Sept.. but looking back over the last year..it really started last winter..He would call me and be pretty low, classes were hard, life in the Fraternity was getting old, lonely/wanting a girlfriend, letdowns in friendships, and a scary comment he made to me.."Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind"
I talked to him, encouraging him, and even tried to get him to go to the University Health Center. Then the next day I would ask if he went to the center and he would say that talking to me made him feel better. He started calling me when he would be walking to and from classes and I got the feeling he needed that lifeline. Then he came home for summer break. He had a job for the summer working with a national youth sports association, where he would be traveling for 2 wks at a time and then be home for 2 weeks. He had his life planned out... Add another major at school(International Business) and then the following fall study abroad. So rather than graduate in May he would graduate the following December. Then he was going to join the military and do officer training.While these plans seemed ambitious and hard both mentally and financially..I admired the way he had it all planned out and offered my full support!
Over the summer when he was not traveling I started noticing his grouchyness. He would fly off the handle to me for the littlest things.. and he was drinking every night. I felt like the drinking was a self medicating thing..like he needed it to calm down.Then in Aug his work was done and he moved back to College town and set up house with 4 other guys. He would say he bought this or that and he's going to do all these things.. like stand up comedy..make a documentary..etc
I was starting to recognize the signs...Mania
he came home in mid sept on a wednesday to trade vehicles and as soon as he came in the door he proudly showed me his new tattoo..talking a mile a minute, telling me all his plans and projects...telling me that God is speaking to him, that he is experiencing waves of inspiration. Oh God,,,I knew for sure... I tried to talk to him about the family history of Bipolar and begged him to see a doctor. Of course, he said NO! Then he went back to school and would not talk to me for days...Finally on that friday one of his frat brothers called to tell me they were all worried about him. Unfortunately there isn't anything that Mothers, Fathers, or friends can do!
Well on sunday night Husband and I went to bed, sleeping fitfully, worried about our boy! Then at 4 in the morning he shows up.. All excited,,Saying he HAD to get to Mt Rushmore to save the world and Dad had to go to. My instructions were to get my sister and go to her sons house and set up my Sons website. He said that Jake Gyllenhall was living in him and lots of people were working through him..he was Euphoric and talking loud and saying some wild things. He chugged a beer because he said he needed to calm down, his chest was pounding. Then he went to take a shower. So I told my husband to just go along with it, but offer to drive... and just drive him to the hospital. Of course when the arrived there..Son knew what was up and didn't want to go in. Finally he agreed to go in but would not cooperate. We told the Doctor everything and he got a hold of a judge and they put him in a mental health facility for a 72 hold. When that was up, the psychiatrist petitioned the court for a 90 cay commitment to be spent inpatient or outpatient at the Dr's discretion. He ended up being in the hospital for 10 days.while he was in there we got rough idea of what he had been up to. Wild spending. And I mean WILD SPENDING! "Money is no object" spending on his credit card. He has hardly spoken to us since. He hates us. He rejects the diagnosis of Bipolar and refuses to take meds. Since leaving the hospital he has moved back to hometown, no job, renting an apt on cash advance from credit card,, took a trip to Los Angeles and stayed at the Westin ($)
Today he called his Grandparents..crying.. They went and picked him up and he is at their house 4 miles away. I don't know what to do....... My poor boy....
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
So.. you ran out of cascade, the dishwasher was full and you decided to put liquid dishwashing soap in the machine. . " It will be alright... what makes the difference?" you told yourself as you latched the door shut and pushed the button to turn it on. As you continue with various kitchen chores the water is filling and heating up in the machine. So far, so good. As you walk to the laundry room to empty the litter box you hear the familiar whooshing as the machine starts the wash cycle. Still confident, you de-litter the cats box and head back into kitchen to wash your hands. On this journey you think the dishwasher sounds.. well.. unfamiliar..kind of muffled. Upon entrance to the kitchen you see thousands of foamy bubbles oozing out of every nook and cranny of the machine! Aaaaa! You open the door and they come billowing out.. WHAT TO DO?!?
GRAB A BOTTLE OF VINEGAR AND POOR IT IN THE MACHINE!! Shut the door and start the machine again.. give it a few seconds.. then reopen to see if the bubbles have decreased, if not add more vinegar! It really works! Has something to do with PH values of soap and vinegar. Soap being alkaline and vinegar being acidic and they neutralize each other. Whatever.. I learned that in Beauty School during the chapter on Shampooing. So always use proper dishwasher detergent in your machine....( and keep a bottle of vinegar around just in case) ;)
Saturday, December 5, 2009
What goes around, comes around. Sage words that imply a profound karmic cause to the events that shape our lives. People, situations, things, they all come and go through our life. Let's talk specifically about things. Inkpens and umbrellas. What free spirited gypsies these objects are! They travel into and out of your life without your notice till you need one. Then you either can't find one (that works) or you find a treasure of them in your junk drawer or closet that you have no recollection of aquiring. Advice goes around and comes around in much the same manner. I will be digging into the junk drawer and closet of my mind and offering advice on love, household chores, parenting, products, hair and skin care,,,etc. Why? ...I fancy myself a know it all! ;)